Control of one’s self is by far the most important skill any person will ever develop. Without self-,control one cannot manifest any of the gifts or abilities that nature may have afforded them.
In fact, if one fails to develop self-control, not only will they not likely ever benefit from their gifts and abilities, they’ll likely create challenges and problems that will make their lives a living hell.
A person that is not in control of themselves will tend to be highly susceptible to reactionary behavior. Such a person may allow the actions or even words of another to trigger them to do something completely uncalled for. This is what I call “The Sucker Trap.”
IF there is an immediate threat of violence, and removing yourself isn’t an option (as is sometimes the case inside institutions), THEN violence may be necessary in order to preserve your safety.
But the context of the situation brought up by the licensed therapists in this scenario was in reference to a more common circumstance in which there is no threat of actual violence, merely hurt feelings and/or embarrassment.
In those everyday kinds of encounters a violent response is NOT appropriate. As a person who was once HIGHLY inclined toward violence in response to words that I perceived as offensive (context: I was a professional Gangster so intolerance was somewhat necessary to maintain order and dominance). One of the most impactful overstandings I eventually came to is that; I am not the cause of other people’s behaviors, I am merely a witness.
Accepting that basic truth unburdened me with the need to “correct” other people, which afforded me more control over myself and my actions. That’s how I avoided the sucker trap. #fckprison #themindplugacademy
The validity of the “physical threat” must be closely evaluated before being responded to. More often than not the offender isn’t intent upon actually DOING anything, they’re just running their mouth. But if one doesn’t assess the severity of the threat accurately one will likely end up doing something completely unnecessary, which often makes the recipient of the “threat” appear as the one on the wrong side of the encounter. It’s called the Sucker-trap. Thinking people avoid it all day. —🧠🔌
Keep in mind though that we cannot “let” (or make) another person “feel” anything; we do not have control over each other’s internal condition. WhenEVER feelings come into play they are those of the actor (the person taking the action… even if it is in REaction to another). Now if through inaction another person is not made aware of an individual’s personal BOUNDARIES (because that person did not express them either sufficiently or at all) THAT’S where the issue begins.